percintaan: with or without chemistry?

[ratu_desko]

gw baca blog ini (http://intaniasalsa.multiply.com/journal/item/67/With_or_without_Chemistry):



Pertanyaan ini mengusik gw beberapa saat yang lalu ketika gw bertemu dengan seorang teman yang bilang kalau dia baru saja menemukan cowo yang punya chemistry. In fact, dia uda punya cowo yang perfect sebagai pacarnya. But then somebody comes up, then she feel like they're having something in common but still can not figure it out. Apa sebenernya chemistry dan seberapa penting dia dalam kehidupan asmara kita??

Gw menjawab dari pengalaman gw sendiri. Gw pernah 3 kali ketemu dengan cowo yang gw rasa gw punya chemistry ama dia. Dan entah kenapa ketiga cowo tersebut playboy. Mungkinkah gw punya sesuatu in common with playboy??? Anywhy, chemistry menurut definisi gw adalah sesuatu yang absurb, abstrak yang tiba-tiba kamu rasakan saat bertemu seseorang dan kamu merasa klik sama orang tersebut. Chemistry tidak dirasakan dengan semua orang. Just certain people, dan kadang-kadang muncul di saat yang salah dengan orang yang salah. Kalian ga tau apa alasannya mengagumi cowo tersebut, hanya merasa nyaman aja deket2 dia, juga kalian merasa dia juga punya perasaan yang sama. Kalo tuh cowo ngga merasa gitu namanya sih bukan chemistry, alias bertepuk sebelah tangan.

Chemistry mungkin cocok untuk cewe single yang belum mature, menurut gw. Yaaa, yang lagi kuliah ato SMA lah. Saat kita sudah mulai tua, kita dihadapkan dengan fakta bahwa memilih pasangan tidak lagi berdasarkan chemistry. Bukan berarti asal sambet aja, tapi lebih tepatnya 'memilih' pasangan. Well, dari pengalaman gw, gw pernah salah memilih pasangan. Mantan gw dan gw punya chemistry yang sangat pas, dimana saat ketemu dia pertama kali gw ngerasa langsung klik ama dia. Then time force him to show up what he's really be. Ternyata dia tidak 'secantik' chemistry yang muncul diantara kita. Dengan cowo gw yang sekarang, gw ngga ngerasain chemistry, tapi kita mempunyai hubungan yang sangat cantik, tenang, saling menghargai dan mengagumi satu sama lain. Then if we can have lovely relationship with somebody we dont have chemistry with, then why we should need chemistry???

Well okelah chemistry bisa merangsang hidup menjadi lebih hidup. Tapi ya itu tadi, haruskah kita mengorbankan apa yang sudah kita dapat untuk sebuah chemistry?? Pertanyaan ini bisa dijawab dengan berbeda oleh masing-masing orang. Untuk yang jiwanya petualang, pencarian chemistry ini akan menambah warna dalam hidupnya karena sangat menantang. Tapi untuk yang beranjak dewasa (baca : yang usianya mendekati usia2 harus menikah seperti gw) terkadang chemistry adalah nomer sekian. Yang penting cowonya baik, yang penting bertanggung jawab, yang penting mau menghormati gw dan yang penting mencintai gw. Yaaa, menurut gw cinta itu bisa kok muncul tanpa ada chemistry.

Agree???


so guys, di sini kita bisa diskusiin:

1. penting gak sih chemistry itu dalam relationship elo?
2. bakal basi gak sih klo hubungan seseorang ma pasangannya gak berlandaskan chemistry?
3. chemistry itu nurut loe apaan sih? bisa ilang gak klo usia hubungan udah lama?
4. chemistry bisa di-create gak sih?
5. klo lo sekarang dah punya pasangan, dia baek, ngehargain elo, sayang ama elo, perhatian, pinter - tapi lo ngerasa gak ada chemistry, trus.. 1 day.. loe ketemu orang yg nurut lo dia lebih punya chemistry ama elo & dia bilang suka ama elo, kira2.. lo bakal ninggalin pasangan lo yg sekarang buat ngejalin hubungan ama yg ada chemistry nya gak sih?

[PERXEPONE]

tanggepan #1 buat blog yg dikutip TS.

RUBBISH.

Gw menjawab dari pengalaman gw sendiri. Gw pernah 3 kali ketemu dengan cowo yang gw rasa gw punya chemistry ama dia. Dan entah kenapa ketiga cowo tersebut playboy. Mungkinkah gw punya sesuatu in common with playboy?

cowok playboy punya banyak tips dan trik buat meng-klik-kan diri sama target. bisa di-cross check ke Master Draculy ato Master Valmighty. so there's no such bloody chemistry with playboys.

Chemistry mungkin cocok untuk cewe single yang belum mature, menurut gw. Yaaa, yang lagi kuliah ato SMA lah. Saat kita sudah mulai tua, kita dihadapkan dengan fakta bahwa memilih pasangan tidak lagi berdasarkan chemistry....
Yaaa, menurut gw cinta itu bisa kok muncul tanpa ada chemistry.

saat CEWEK sudah mulai tua, maka jangan pilih pasangan berdasarkan chemistry. hell rite..pertimbangkan pendapatannya . way to go girl (go to hell, i mean). cinta muncul tanpa chemistrY/ pemicunya apaan???

buat pertanyaan TS
1. penting gak sih chemistry itu dalam relationship elo?
iya. gw nggak pernah jadian sma cowok tanpa chemistry. bahkan nggak bakal nikah sma hubby gw klo nggak ada chemistry.

2. bakal basi gak sih klo hubungan seseorang ma pasangannya gak berlandaskan chemistry?
kalo awalnya ada chemistry yg kuat, tapi pada prosesnya memble, nggak ada respek, nggak ada komitmen dll, etc, hubungan itu nggak usah tunggu lama pasti basi. a relationship (the SERIOUS ONE) takes lot more than just a silly chemistry.

3. chemistry itu nurut loe apaan sih? bisa ilang gak klo usia hubungan udah lama?
chemistry 4 me: something i felt when i made first encounter with him. verbal, visual. something encoded in our DNA structure. verbal: what i like/dislike, how i think/act, etc. stuffs like that.
if my DNA sense that he was no match, suddenly'ilfil'. visual, anatomi wajah, bentuk tubuh, kontak mata. this also encoded in the DNA. works together with pheromon, created a map of whether he was a match or no.

4. chemistry bisa di-create gak sih?
no. it can't be created or modified. it was just there, in ur DNA, then ur subconsciusness.
unless kesadaran ambil bagian: this only goes to those whose DNA hungry for Armani suit, Zegna pants, and Lamborghini cars.which is, unnatural. for the natural works like this: seeking for differences buat meningkatkan variasi kombinasi genetik.

5. klo lo sekarang dah punya pasangan, dia baek, ngehargain elo, sayang ama elo, perhatian, pinter - tapi lo ngerasa gak ada chemistry, trus.. 1 day.. loe ketemu orang yg nurut lo dia lebih punya chemistry ama elo & dia bilang suka ama elo, kira2.. lo bakal ninggalin pasangan lo yg sekarang buat ngejalin hubungan ama yg ada chemistry nya gak sih?

abstain. karena gw dan hubby gw ada chemistry.

[ter_luka]

cowok playboy punya banyak tips dan trik buat meng-klik-kan diri sama target. bisa di-cross check ke Master Draculy ato Master Valmighty. so there's no such bloody chemistry with playboys.
klaim yg sembrono
::hihi::

1. penting gak sih chemistry itu dalam relationship elo?
ya pentinglah, klo ga ada chemistry bagai raga tanpa nyawa, hambar gitu.....
2. bakal basi gak sih klo hubungan seseorang ma pasangannya gak berlandaskan chemistry?
yup, suatu saat pasti berakhir... tp yg gw heran, koq bisa ya menjalin hubungan tanpa "percikan" ?
3. chemistry itu nurut loe apaan sih? bisa ilang gak klo usia hubungan udah lama?
chemistry bagi gw adl sungai, yg membawa kmn air mengalir menuju laut...
harusnya semakin lama chemistry itu semakin kuat....
4. chemistry bisa di-create gak sih?
bisa, tp tdk utk kedua pasangan. Salah satu pasti tersakiti klo maen create2an.....
5. klo lo sekarang dah punya pasangan, dia baek, ngehargain elo, sayang ama elo, perhatian, pinter - tapi lo ngerasa gak ada chemistry, trus.. 1 day.. loe ketemu orang yg nurut lo dia lebih punya chemistry ama elo & dia bilang suka ama elo, kira2.. lo bakal ninggalin pasangan lo yg sekarang buat ngejalin hubungan ama yg ada chemistry nya gak sih?
tanya dirimu sendiri......

[PERXEPONE]

@ atas gw
diliat dari postingan elu, gw brani taroan klo pengalaman lo soal cewe pasti DIBAWAHNYA Master Draculy dan Valmighty.

dan lo kalo ngaku cowok, ngaku kekalahan sekali2 nggak pengaruh kok (buat pertumbuhan dede lo, at least) :D

o ya, there is NO BLOODY chemistry with playboys

[ter_luka]

diliat dari postingan elu, gw brani taroan klo pengalaman lo soal cewe pasti DIBAWAHNYA Master Draculy dan Valmighty.
yach, liat orang koq dari postingan... knal gw kagak.......
::hihi::
tp whatever deh... klo mau ngadu2, ngadu yg laen aja...


dan lo kalo ngaku cowok, ngaku kekalahan sekali2 nggak pengaruh kok (buat pertumbuhan dede lo, at least)
aku takut bertarung, krn aku takut kalah......
tp aku lebih takut menjadi pengecut !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[french_fries]

fake it until you make it! --> bagaimanapun juga gampang untuk memalsukan chemistry awal ke cewek2
kalo chemistry yang dimaksud itu instant connection and attraction ya jelas playboy jagonya

[FireFlies]

Kayaknya penting deh
Walopun awal2 bisa dibikin fake, ntar kan ketauan jg aslinya. Ada chemistry beneran atw ga
Nah kalo ga ada ya.. putus deh

Based on private experience nih
Chemistry itu penting biar lo gak bosen ama pasangan loe

[PERXEPONE]

cowok playboy punya banyak tips dan trik buat meng-klik-kan diri sama target. bisa di-cross check ke Master Draculy ato Master Valmighty. so there's no such bloody chemistry with playboys.

at least dua kubu ini sinkron :D



fake it until you make it! --> bagaimanapun juga gampang untuk memalsukan chemistry awal ke cewek2
kalo chemistry yang dimaksud itu instant connection and attraction ya jelas playboy jagonya

[ratu_desko]

5. klo lo sekarang dah punya pasangan, dia baek, ngehargain elo, sayang ama elo, perhatian, pinter - tapi lo ngerasa gak ada chemistry, trus.. 1 day.. loe ketemu orang yg nurut lo dia lebih punya chemistry ama elo & dia bilang suka ama elo, kira2.. lo bakal ninggalin pasangan lo yg sekarang buat ngejalin hubungan ama yg ada chemistry nya gak sih?
tanya dirimu sendiri......


???

pertanyaan ini gw lempar di forum, krn pas gw gugling, banyak banget yg nanyain soal beginian. so, apa salahnya didiskusikan bareng2. kek yang ada di sini: Is chemistry really that important? (http://ask.metafilter.com/55199/Is-chemistry-really-that-important)

I've been seeing a great guy. He's sweet, smart, funny, and he likes me! So what could possibly be the problem?


My boyfriend (I'm female) of around six months is a wonderful guy, and I get the feeling he's pretty serious about me. Why wouldn't he be? I've given him no reason to think I'm having any doubts.

The problem is this: I'm just not sure that there's any chemistry any more. To be honest I don't know if there was really that much to begin with, but whatever. What has been bugging me, and the reason I've been holding back on breaking up with him, is that I am not sure if chemistry is really that important.

Is it realistic to hope to be with someone that I'm really into? The guys that I've really fancied in the past have generally turned out to be bad for me. I was miserable waiting for them to call, I was eager to make sure they saw me at my best, they were often total wankers in the end anyway. Current boyfriend is a swell guy. Is that what I should be going for? You'd think by my age (early 30s) I'd have this figured out, but I would really appreciate some outside input.

(I want to add that his feelings/not hurting him any more than might be necessary are a high priority in all of this. I just want to be sure of my own feelings before possibly cutting him loose, rather than possibly jerking him around with an "I need some time to think" type thing.)

[ratu_desko]

ada artikel bagus neh, dr sini (http://www.chemistry.com/datingadvice/Compatibility) :


Chemistry Vs. Compatibility: What’s More Important?
By Lisa Cericola



So your latest crush is an amazing kisser, but you had absolutely nothing to talk about over dinner. Or, you two have tons in common, but your first night getting physical was a total flop. Sure, everyone says great relationships are all about the total package—having a healthy balance of intense chemistry and comforting compatibility. But is a budding love affair doomed if you’ve got tons of one but not the other? According to these happy couples, absolutely not. Read on to learn which quality kept them together—and why you shouldn’t worry if you find yourself in a similar dating scenario.

“A bad first kiss didn’t mean we were doomed”
Lisa Price, 28, and Matt Price, 33; married 3 years
New York City

The compatibility factor: "Tremendously, ridiculously awesome," says Matt.
"We could talk about sports and had the same sense of humor." Lisa agrees: “ We never ran out of things to talk about,” she says. "On our first date, I was fantasizing about our wedding."

The chemistry factor: Hardly hot ‘n heavy. "At the end of our first date, he leaned in for a kiss but pulled away at the last moment, giving me an awkward peck on the side of my mouth,” Lisa recalls. “It was the worst kiss ever."

How they made it work: While Matt thought he’d blown it and was tempted to call it quits, he set pride aside and emailed for a second date—and was psyched when she said yes. Knowing she was still interested in spite of the snafu boosted Matt's confidence, and that’s all it took to guarantee a very lusty kiss #2. Both agree first dates are hardly a good litmus test of someone’s potential, plus, "there are so many ways to have chemistry besides a kiss,” points out Lisa. “The way Matt and I enjoyed every second together is another form of connecting, and that's ultimately the kind of chemistry that I always dreamed of."

“Chemistry brought our very different personalities together”
Brooke Herman, 26 and Larry Grodsky, 27; dating 2 years
New Milford, NJ

The compatibility factor: Next to non-existent. "I’m passionate; he’s very calm and methodical. He’s into rap; I like show tunes. He’s a partier, and I never stay out late," explains Brooke. Larry agrees, adding, "We didn't have much in common outside of the newspaper we both worked on."

The chemistry factor: While Brooke can’t explain why, "I felt it in my bones that we were meant to be together,” she says. “He’d put his arm around me, and it just worked. And when we finally kissed, I couldn’t believe how right it felt.”

How they made it work: Unfortunately, great chemistry can dissolve when you can't agree what to do on a Saturday night or even what album to play on the stereo. "It was hard the first few months," Brooke remembers. "We cared about each other but had different lives.” While many believe you shouldn’t have to change who you are for the one you love, Brooke and Larry found it essential. "I learned to enjoy baseball games, and he traded late nights out with his friends for cooking dinner at home,” says Brooke, adding that the process made her realize that deep down, “we’re actually very similar.” Time, in other words, allowed them to find common ground. "For most couples, everything seems perfect and easy in the beginning,” points out Larry. “But we had a rocky beginning that eventually became a relationship that really worked.”

“Our compatibility online led to a strong connection in person”
Georgi Bohrod, 60 and Rich Gordon, 60; dating 5 years
Santa Monica, CA

The compatibility factor: Georgi and Rich’s online profiles seemed tailor-made for each other. “I’d written a description practically down to every last detail, from a love of the Padres to fine dining. Rich fit every category,” says Georgi, who also fit Rich’s wish list to a tee. Says Rich of meeting Georgi, "It was like we knew each other in a past life.”

The chemistry factor: Ultimately, intense! Since they’d spent a month emailing and talking on the phone before meeting up, Rich was nervous that all of their mutual interests still wouldn't add up to good chemistry. "I’d been looking for love online for awhile and had experienced lots of false starts,” Rich explains. Georgi agrees, adding, “I think neither of us had great expectations,” so they were delighted when sparks flew during their first face-to-face date.

How they made it work: They strongly believe that their effort to build a strong foundation of compatibility via email and phone paved the way for a rock-solid relationship. “By chatting online we got to know each other’s sense of humor and values. Compatibility is everything from the music and food you like to the way you treat people. Over the long haul, it’s so important. If we’d met in person too soon, the physical attraction would have overwhelmed everything else,” says Rich, and he and Georgi wouldn’t have been able to forge as full a connection as quickly as they did.

“We were friends first; lovers second”
Mindi Dolf, 25, and Tom Edward, 26; dating 5 years
Minneapolis, MN

The compatibility factor: Mindi and Tom were so compatible as friends, it took them years to see each other as more. “We were both involved in the theatre and often found each other at the same parties and get-togethers,” Tom recalls. “ We certainly enjoyed each other's company, exchanging jokes. We cracked each other up.”

The chemistry factor: Not very strong. "At one point I started to get a glimmer of how wonderful this guy was and I thought, ‘I’d like to end up with someone like him someday,” admits Mindi. “I couldn’t imagine we would be a good couple.”

How they made it work: When Mindi needed a date for a sorority ball, she asked Tom—as a friend, of course. "But the dance floor does something to two people who’ve never held one another," Mindi says. “ Which song it was that sealed it is entirely our business, but rest assured, a common feeling passed between us.” That night, they kissed, then fell asleep—fully clothed—on Tom’s bed. Their relationship inched forward slowly, since Tom soon went to study abroad for a semester. But after exchanging daily emails and phone calls, both agree that they grew even closer in spite of the distance. When Tom returned, sparks naturally flew, proving that friendship can transform into love.

“Our intense connection overcame our differences”
Doreen Orion, 46, and Tim Justice, 48; married 5 years
Boulder, CO

The compatibility factor: Although Doreen and Tim are both psychiatrists, the couple's similarities end there. He loves the outdoors, she’s a couch potato. He’s a people person, she’s a self-described misanthrope. "I doubt you could meet a more disparate pair," says Doreen.

The chemistry factor: Electric. On their first date, the two had so much fun they had no idea eight hours had passed.So they continued the night with a few hours of “good old-fashioned necking” in the parking lot, says Tim. Although the two shared amazing physical chemistry, they still weren’t sure it would lead to anything more than a heavy make-out session. “Because of our differences, we never thought we'd end up seriously dating or married," explains Tim.

How they made it work: Given that Doreen and Tim had each been previously married to people whose personalities mirrored their own, they knew compatibility had its limitations. So, they decided to let chemistry be their guide—and found that their differences allowed them to maintain a healthy sense of autonomy. "It allowed us to have individual interests and not force each other along for the ride," says Tim. Plus, they found out that many of their “differences” complemented each other rather than clashed. “We each have different strengths and weaknesses,” says Doreen. “And it makes us stronger together than apart.”

So, what to conclude from these case histories? Whether you’ve got loads of chemistry or just some nice compatibility on the first date, there may be a wonderful romance and relationship in your future.

Lisa Cericola is a New York City-based writer who’s written for First For Women, Southern Living, and other publications.

[ter_luka]

pertanyaan ini gw lempar di forum, krn pas gw gugling, banyak banget yg nanyain soal beginian. so, apa salahnya didiskusikan bareng2. kek yang ada di sini
ya maap
soalna gw lom pernah mengalami sih....

tp klo mau dibahas lebih lanjut
ada baiknya cari dulu artinya chemistry dlm kamus cinta.....
bisa gak ya ?
soalnya tiap pribadi pasti laen2....
contohnya gw td...
chemistry itu adl sungai, klo boleh ditambahi sungai dan savannah....

tp gw pernah baca jg....
chemistry itu adl pemantik....
yg bisa jd besar klo make a fren with gasoline...
::hihi::
tp gw lom tau yg dimaksud gasoline itu sapa/apa ?

[martie]

Lo ga akan connect dengan seseorang kalo ga ada chemistry diantara mereka, kalo lo jadian dengan cowo berarti klo merasakan adanya chemistry antara lo dengan cowo itu, kalo dalam relationship lo ternyata lo ketemu org yg punya chemistry lebih kuat, wajar aja lo akan lebih tertarik ke arah magnet chemistry yg lebih kuat, karena manusia pada dasarnya egois..
pada dasarnya ga ada yg namanya cinta pada pandangan pertama adanya Rasa tertarik/ chemistry itu sendiri
Tapi itu yang bedain antara "interested/ admire" dengan "Real love"
satu quote yang bagus (walopun kedgrannya rada chessy)
- Cinta bukan tentang menemukan seseorang yg sempurna untuk dicintai, tapi mencintai orang yang tidak sempurna dengan cara yang sempurna (ahh lebay dech gue..)

[yannecantik]

ah, chemistry.....................

IMO chemistry itu adalah lust in disguise.
this is based on my analysis.
dasarnya lust, tp ga 100% lust.
nevertheless, it's an amazing feeling/experience.

sekarang jawab questions TS.

1. chemistry penting bg gw. krn tanpa chemistry gw ga bakal jadian sama org itu. tp setelah jadian, chemistry ga terlalu penting dlm relationship. yg lebih penting companionship.
so, harus bisa transform chemistry jd companionship dg mulus.

2. mnrt gw hubungan tanpa chemistry bakal basi bgt.

3. chemistry = lust in disguise. chemistry pasti luntur setelah berhubungan lama dg seseorang (lihat jawaban no 1).
mnrt hasil penelitian, chemistry itu adl reaksi kimia di otak (that's why they called it 'chemistry' i guess).

4. IMO sih ga bisa. pake ilmu pelet mungkin bisa ;D

5. i dont think so. klo lo udah menjalin hubungan/relationship, berarti udah ada komitmen. so, gw ga bakal ninggalin pasangan gw begitu aja krn ketemu org baru with strong chemistry.
makanya banyak org takut komitmen. takut klo ga bisa jaga komitmen utk tetap setia.

[PERXEPONE]

aku takut bertarung, krn aku takut kalah......
tp aku lebih takut menjadi pengecut !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pengecut...
seperti bikin klon, trus ketauan..dan klon nya di permanent banned? ::ngakak2::

[Xetto skywalker]

hal pertama yg harus dijelaskan di sini sbeleum lanjut pembahasannya.. chemistry tuh apa sih ? apa semua orang memiliki persepsi yg sama mengenai chemistry ? or atleast yg ikut diskusi sini, maksud nya sama ngga waktu bilang chemistry ?

apakah chemistry, perasaan kayak jatoh cinta yang jadi sampe mikirin trus, makan ngga enak, tidur ngga enak, sejuta rasanya ?
apakah chemistry, ngerasa cocok bgt, kayak ngerti pikiran dia sebelom ngomong juga udah tau dia mo ngomong apa dan sebaliknya ? (karna hal gini juga pernah gw rasain ke lawan jenis, tapi gw ngga tertarik sama dia, purely friend)
apa chemistry, suka banget sama seseorang, saking ngefansnya samape ada di deket dia aja jantung berasa berdebar, dan kalo ngga sengaja nyentuh dia, senyum2nya bisa sampe besok ? ::hhh::

well anyway, menurut gw chemistry is a nice to have. klo ngga ada juga gapapa. karna toh bakalan ilang, dalam waktu 10 tahun hidup bareng juga pasti ilang. gw lebih milih yg sifatnya jangka panjang. kayak cocok, visi sama,prinsip sama, saling mencintai dan menghormati. ya gitulah..

[Xetto skywalker]

ngomongin love, gw jadi inget sternberg n triarchic of love. sangat bagus dan menjelaskan lika-liku cinta. cinta apa yg cuma mau sex doang, yg lebih mentingin ditemenin, dll.

triangular theory of love (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love)

[PERXEPONE]

apakah chemistry, ngerasa cocok bgt, kayak ngerti pikiran dia sebelom ngomong juga udah tau dia mo ngomong apa dan sebaliknya ? (karna hal gini juga pernah gw rasain ke lawan jenis, tapi gw ngga tertarik sama dia, purely friend)
apa chemistry, suka banget sama seseorang, saking ngefansnya samape ada di deket dia aja jantung berasa berdebar, dan kalo ngga sengaja nyentuh dia, senyum2nya bisa sampe besok ? ::hhh::..

combine dari keduanya.
klo ngrasa cocok banget tanpa perasaan yang terakhir, itu mah buat temenan.
tapi klo yg trakhir aja, hhhmmm...bukan chemistry de.
it's more like the combination of two

[Valmighty]

kayak ngerti pikiran dia sebelom ngomong juga udah tau dia mo ngomong apa dan sebaliknya ?
sama, gw ama lenlen juga gitu, sering banget ngomong bareng (dah kyk di film2 yg ada si kembar ngomong bareng) tapi pure friend

[jacinta]

gw mo jawab TS aja dulu.

1. penting gak sih chemistry itu dalam relationship elo?
- very importante. gw pernah pacaran dua kali just because kita cocok (mungkin istilah dari artikel rades: kompatibel). tapi akhirnya basi juga hubungannya. akhirnya bubar, deh.

2. bakal basi gak sih klo hubungan seseorang ma pasangannya gak berlandaskan chemistry?
- berdasar pengalaman gw, ho-oh.

3. chemistry itu nurut loe apaan sih? bisa ilang gak klo usia hubungan udah lama?
- imho, chemistry itu lebih ke merasa belong dengan seseorang meskipun bentuknya bukan jadi pasangannya. gw percaya banget kalo chemistry nggak ilang, cuma menyurut aja from time to time karena mood and kejadian-kejadian hidup.

4. chemistry bisa di-create gak sih?
- enggak. dipalsuin mungkin bisa.

5. klo lo sekarang dah punya pasangan, dia baek, ngehargain elo, sayang ama elo, perhatian, pinter - tapi lo ngerasa gak ada chemistry, trus.. 1 day.. loe ketemu orang yg nurut lo dia lebih punya chemistry ama elo & dia bilang suka ama elo, kira2.. lo bakal ninggalin pasangan lo yg sekarang buat ngejalin hubungan ama yg ada chemistry nya gak sih?
- secara gw gak buka prospek jalan sama orang yang gak ada chemistry sama gw, i don't think that scenario will happen to me. but if it does happen, kalo emang gw udah terikat sama pasangan gw, yowis ... tapi kalo belon, perhaps .. dengan banyak pertimbangan.

[yannecantik]

hal pertama yg harus dijelaskan di sini sbeleum lanjut pembahasannya.. chemistry tuh apa sih ? apa semua orang memiliki persepsi yg sama mengenai chemistry ? or atleast yg ikut diskusi sini, maksud nya sama ngga waktu bilang chemistry ?

apakah chemistry, perasaan kayak jatoh cinta yang jadi sampe mikirin trus, makan ngga enak, tidur ngga enak, sejuta rasanya ?
apakah chemistry, ngerasa cocok bgt, kayak ngerti pikiran dia sebelom ngomong juga udah tau dia mo ngomong apa dan sebaliknya ? (karna hal gini juga pernah gw rasain ke lawan jenis, tapi gw ngga tertarik sama dia, purely friend)
apa chemistry, suka banget sama seseorang, saking ngefansnya samape ada di deket dia aja jantung berasa berdebar, dan kalo ngga sengaja nyentuh dia, senyum2nya bisa sampe besok ? ::hhh::

well anyway, menurut gw chemistry is a nice to have. klo ngga ada juga gapapa. karna toh bakalan ilang, dalam waktu 10 tahun hidup bareng juga pasti ilang. gw lebih milih yg sifatnya jangka panjang. kayak cocok, visi sama,prinsip sama, saling mencintai dan menghormati. ya gitulah..

chemistry itu mnrt gw perasaan 'kesetrum' saat ngeliat seseorang.
ga perlu kenal dulu, sama stranger jg bisa ngerasa ada chemistry.
cinta pada pandangan pertama bisa masuk kategori chemistry.
selama ini gw selalu ngalamin chemistry perasaan kesetrum ini.

[Jun-ah]

@yannecantik : wah..koq beda yah....gw kalo suka aja baru kesetrum....
kalo cinta..........? dunno yet...?

[cartoon]

pentinggg bangettttttttttttt

[ratu_desko]

menurut artikel ini (http://www.chemistry.com/datingadvice/CreateSomeChemistry), chemistry bisa di-create.

Create Some Chemistry!
By Matt Schneiderman

You’ve had a pleasant date or two, but you “just aren’t feeling it…” yet. Rest assured, attraction isn’t always instant: Research shows that it typically takes a guy three meetings to fall for a woman—and as many as 20 dates for her to feel the same. Plus, there are things you can do during these early rendezvous that’ll help get some chemistry percolating and jump-start your budding relationship. So, consider skipping your typical dinner date and trying one of these options to get a buzz going between you.

Date idea #1: Go hunting

No, not the hunting that requires killing furry creatures—rather, the two of you taking on a mission to find something, be it a gift for Mother’s Day or some much-needed furniture for your date’s den. Errand-running may not seem very romantic, but it’s actually a modern-day version of an ancient bonding ritual where people had to hunt together to survive. Says David Givens, Ph.D., an anthropologist and author of Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship, “Searching involves reward, and the shared pleasure when you find, say, the perfect jacket—is reminiscent of the hunter-gatherers finding food.” So, don’t be surprised if by the end of your shopping spree you start feeling a real connection with your partner in crime.

Date idea #2: Get dizzy

According to one study, men and women who met on a bridge high over rushing water rated each other as more attractive than those they met elsewhere. The lesson for you? Vertigo is your friend. “There’s something about staring down dizzying distances that makes the heart grow fonder, perhaps because the adrenaline rush, sweaty palms, and racing pulse you feel bears a striking resemblance to the sensations you experience during — you got it — sexual arousal, and people can’t help but transfer those feelings to the person they’re with,” notes Givens. So, got a hot date coming up? We’re not suggesting you say, “Meet me on a bridge”—that would be too odd, for sure. But you can propose heading to that restaurant or lounge that’s nearly always situated atop a city’s highest skyscraper. Or, try a rooftop bar or venue where there’s a balcony. Go rock climbing, or hiking up a mountain. Just think: The higher you go, the more attracted you’ll be to each other!

Date idea #3: Attend a group dining experience

Move the typical date meal away from the two-top (that's waiter-speak for “table for two”) and into a communal dining spot—like the grill-table at a Benihana-style Japanese place or a shared table at a busy Italian or German restaurant. Eating amongst others not only takes the pressure off you both to continue an ongoing tête-à-tête, it also helps to establish the two of you as a de facto couple. According to Givens, we all have a common fear of strangers, and individuals will bond more closely with the person they know best when interacting with a bunch of people. “In a group setting, you're a pair united against a world of strangers,” says Givens. And that will get you bonding more strongly.

Date idea #4: Get in touch with your artistic sides

Even if you’re no Picasso, proposing a pottery, painting, or mosaic class can make you see your date in a whole new (and sexier) light. That’s because creative endeavors are more intuitive and sensory-driven than your more rational, logical, date-night activities like conversations about books you’ve read recently, or the pros and cons of telecommuting. Plus, if you’re working on creating something together, even better. Couples at all relationship stages bond this way, whether they’re making babies, renovating their fixer-upper, or just trying out a Thai recipe for the first time. “You’'re no longer strangers when you’re trying to make the same pot,” points out Givens. “You’ll get to like each other pretty fast, and it creates a natural synchronicity.”

Date idea #5: Get nosy

Of all your five senses, scent will kick-start the mood like no other. “Smell is chemical,” says Givens. “It activates the emotional part of the brain.” So, by comparing notes at a wine-, sake- or cheese-tasting, or breathing in the aromas at a local lilac or orchid festival, you two will be all the more tuned into more sentimental thoughts—maybe even about each other.

Date idea #6: Dance, dance, dance

Get your eyes locked, your feet in step and your hands all over each other… at a ballroom dancing lesson. According to Travis Hendricks, an instructor at Dance New York (which sent two contestants to participate in Dancing With the Stars), the latest dance craze is salsa. “It’s such a sensual dance,” says Hendricks. “You dance very close.” If the Latin dance doesn't appeal, try learning the cha-cha or Peabody. Regardless of your dance preference, you'll find you and your date moving towards a real connection because it forces you to get your bodies in synch and mirror each other’s movements—a proven tactic for forging a bond. “Dancing is an immediate way to get on the same page,” says Givens. “It has both a tactile and a visual dimension of sameness, which creates great rapport.”

Date idea #7: Play a game together

Whether it’s playing pool or Taboo, a little competition can create instant chemistry. Just avoid head-to-head competition early on—no one likes being on the losing end, so try teaming up against another couple or some pals. That way, you reap the benefits of game play, win or lose. “When you're paired together against other people, you and your date become natural allies,” says Givens. “Your mutual aggression is going outwards. It’s a very strong way to bond.”

[tuscany]

Pengalaman chemistry di gw cuma sekali terjadi, sama orang yang belum lama gw kenal. Tapi bukan love at the first sight. Rasanya perut gw dihantam sesuatu. Pertama2 nyadar gw sakit perut sampe beberapa hari.

[esadelapan]

so guys, di sini kita bisa diskusiin:

1. penting gak sih chemistry itu dalam relationship elo?
2. bakal basi gak sih klo hubungan seseorang ma pasangannya gak berlandaskan chemistry?
3. chemistry itu nurut loe apaan sih? bisa ilang gak klo usia hubungan udah lama?
4. chemistry bisa di-create gak sih?
5. klo lo sekarang dah punya pasangan, dia baek, ngehargain elo, sayang ama elo, perhatian, pinter - tapi lo ngerasa gak ada chemistry, trus.. 1 day.. loe ketemu orang yg nurut lo dia lebih punya chemistry ama elo & dia bilang suka ama elo, kira2.. lo bakal ninggalin pasangan lo yg sekarang buat ngejalin hubungan ama yg ada chemistry nya gak sih?

1. sangat penting
2. basi
3. unconditional feelin yang selalu mengkondisikan kita positif dan menikmati hubungan apa adanya
4. bisa, dengan ikhlas dan sabar
5. itu seperti beli kucing dalam karung, tinggal mementingkan yang mana. cinta adalah perjuangan kawan, dan kenihilan chemistry adalah tantangan

[Perseus]

menurut artikel ini (http://www.chemistry.com/datingadvice/CreateSomeChemistry), chemistry bisa di-create.

Artikel yang baik tentang bagaimana pikiran dan persepsi bekerja ^_^

untuk sebagian orang proses chemistry ini 'otomatis' dan sepertinya tanpa 'usaha' sama sekali

sementara bagi sebagian lagi hal-hal ini perlu di 'create' untuk meningkatkan bonding dan attachment dengan pasangannya

[Perseus]

menurut artikel ini (http://www.chemistry.com/datingadvice/CreateSomeChemistry), chemistry bisa di-create.

By Matt Schneiderman

Date idea #5: Get nosy

Of all your five senses, scent will kick-start the mood like no other. “Smell is chemical,” says Givens. “It activates the emotional part of the brain.” So, by comparing notes at a wine-, sake- or cheese-tasting, or breathing in the aromas at a local lilac or orchid festival, you two will be all the more tuned into more sentimental thoughts—maybe even about each other.

khusus untuk ini, like other animals manusia juga akan merespon bau-bauan sebagai panduan untuk ketertarikannya, dan ini tercetak di panduan genetik masing-masing orang untuk mencari pasangan yang compatible

[duacicak]

1. chemistry itu penting banget... klo ga ada chemistry.. rasa suka/cinta itu susah tumbuh.
2. basi banget.. ga bakal enak.
3. chemistry itu bisa ilang kalo tipe orangnya ga setia. tp klo orangnya setia, pasti chemistry masih bisa di pertahankan meskipun hubungany udah lama. pasti klo orangnya setia, mereka bisa mempertahankan chemstry itu dengan melakukan hal2 yang saat2 mereka lagi pedekate gitu dhe.
4. menurut gue bisa. sometimes, klo kita terpaksa berduaan sama orang di waktu yang tepat dan di tempat yang tepat pula..bisa create chemistry.. basically.. closeness and intimate.. nah itu bibit2 dari chemisty.
5. nope. bagaimanapun juga. klo udah punya cowo yang perfek bgt, trus tiba2 ada orang lain yg maybe ada chemistry ama kita. gue sih ttp pertahanin ama yang cowo perfek ini.. KECUALI,, klo yang cowo ber chemistry ini membuat gue lebih bahagia, and if the chemistry blooms into a deeper love, baru dhe .. kepikir pilih cowo yang ada chemistry ini. :D

[clickdoank]

Mau ikutan deh :)

1. penting gak sih chemistry itu dalam relationship elo?
Penting, tapi gak sepenting perasaan comfort, perasaan dilindungi, dihargai dan rasa special dimana ada orang yang begitu sayangnya sama diri gue. Kalau bisa dapet itu semua memang lebih mantap lagi hehehe

2. bakal basi gak sih klo hubungan seseorang ma pasangannya gak berlandaskan chemistry?
Gak juga, tergantung gimana cara menyikapinya dan gimana cara mengatasinya. Kalau perlu diusahakan gimana caranya membangun chemistry itu. Contohnya nih, seandainya Tarzan ketemunya bukan sama Jane, tapi sama cewe laen yang mungkin gak ada chemistrynya, tapi karena no other woman around, ya Tarzan mau gak mau pastinya sama si cewe ini (well bukan contoh yang baik sih :d)

3. chemistry itu nurut loe apaan sih? bisa ilang gak klo usia hubungan udah lama?
susah sih diungkapin dengan kata kata, tapi kadang chemistry ini yang bikin orang gegabah and selalu bilang "He/she is the one for me". Gue lebih suka chemistry yang dibangun secara bertahap, perlahan tapi pasti.
Usia hubungan bisa jadi bisa juga kagak ada hubungan sama chemistry, tergantung masing masing pasangan

4. chemistry bisa di-create gak sih?
Bisa. Tapi kadang kalau terlalu dipaksain, jadinya aneh

5. klo lo sekarang dah punya pasangan, dia baek, ngehargain elo, sayang ama elo, perhatian, pinter - tapi lo ngerasa gak ada chemistry, trus.. 1 day.. loe ketemu orang yg nurut lo dia lebih punya chemistry ama elo & dia bilang suka ama elo, kira2.. lo bakal ninggalin pasangan lo yg sekarang buat ngejalin hubungan ama yg ada chemistry nya gak sih?

Punya chemistry sama doank? kalau cuma gitu, gue gak rela ninggalin, karena back to my answer di question 1. Gue gak mau kehilangan pasangan yang baek, ngehargain, sayang dan perhatian sama gue cuma buat di trade sama chemistry tapi gue feel insecure dalam segala hal

[4-4-2 Diamond]

bisa karena biasa..cheimistry bisa dibentuk..bahkan juga dilatih..karena memang merupakan bagian kodrat manusia

[K-Sha]

so guys, di sini kita bisa diskusiin:

1. penting gak sih chemistry itu dalam relationship elo?
2. bakal basi gak sih klo hubungan seseorang ma pasangannya gak berlandaskan chemistry?
3. chemistry itu nurut loe apaan sih? bisa ilang gak klo usia hubungan udah lama?
4. chemistry bisa di-create gak sih?
5. klo lo sekarang dah punya pasangan, dia baek, ngehargain elo, sayang ama elo, perhatian, pinter - tapi lo ngerasa gak ada chemistry, trus.. 1 day.. loe ketemu orang yg nurut lo dia lebih punya chemistry ama elo & dia bilang suka ama elo, kira2.. lo bakal ninggalin pasangan lo yg sekarang buat ngejalin hubungan ama yg ada chemistry nya gak sih?

1. Of Course.

2. Depend on that people. Mnurut gw, ga semua hubungan tanpa chemistry (atau bs gw bilang di sini belum ada chemistrynya) itu bisa hambar. Believe it or not, tante gw nikah udah 20 th sm suaminya tapi baru pas tahun ke-11 ngerasa ada chemistry. Dan mereka ngerasa ga terlalu beda antara sebelum dapet chemistry sm sesudahnya.

3. Well, mnurut gw chemistry itu sesuatu yang could make your self comfort with someone. Dan mnurut gw, chemistry ga harus dirasain ke seseorang yg jd pasangan kita. Bisa aja ke sahabat ato ke saudara. Dan ga harus ke lawan jenis.

4. Gw pikir bisa, bahkan sebelum gw liat postingan TS yg ksh tau ada artikel soal itu. hehe. ::hihi::
Karena buat gw, chemistry could happened when people try to learn about the other.

5. Mmh..gw ga akan ninggalin seseorang yg udah sayang sm gw krn pihak ketiga. Seperfect apapun pihak ketiga itu. Lagipula ada chemistry dgn seseorang yg bukan pasangan kita, bukan tentu harus dijadiin pasangan kan? Gw malah prefer buat jd-in org itu untuk jd sobat gw aja.
Karena gw cukup ngerti rasanya disakitin dlm suatu hubungan krn ada pihak ketiga.