Jokes

[Franky]

Fred was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his pastor. As the pastor stood beside the bed, Fred's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on.

The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Fred used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died.

The pastor thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket.

Several days later, at the funeral, the pastor delivered the eulogy. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Fred died.
"You know," he said, "ol Fred handed me a note just before
he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

He unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"
:D:D:D:D

[Franky]

A blonde and her friend were talking one day. Her friend
said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but
she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared up.

The blonde asked, "How do you give shoulders?"

[Franky]

Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework:

"Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch...'"

"Johnny!" shouted his mother. "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords".

"But, Mom," replied the boy, "that's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud 'til we learned it."

Next day Johnny's mother went right into the classroom to complain.

"Oh, heavens!" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them.
They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four.

[Franky]

When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public life,
the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner
party in his honor.

At the dinner table the Ambassador's wife was talking with
Madame deGaulle.

"Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such
a presence on the French and International scene for so many
years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What
are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?"

"A penis," replied Madame deGaulle.

A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer...and no one knew what to say next.

Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife and said, "Mon cherie, I believe ze English pronounce zat word, 'appiness!'"

[Franky]

A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk.
A man came in and ask the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?"

The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain"

"So what happened that's so horrible?" the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.

"Well," the farmer said, "today I was sitting by my cow , milking her.Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."

"Okay",said the man "but that's not so bad."

"Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied. "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left. Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."

The man laughed and said, "Again?"

The farmer replied,"Some things you just can't explain. I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right. Well I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail. Some things you just can't explain"

"So, what did you do?" the man asked.

"Well," the farmer said, "I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in......Some things you just can't explain."
::hhh:: ;D;D;D

[Ice]

heheh.. lucuuu..

kok gak ada yg ngasih komen sihh.. :D

[Yahudman]

abis bikin jokenya pake bahasa inggris.. jadi ketawanya.. pada telat gituuuu..hehehehhehe:D:D:D:D

[MarlboroMan]

buka kamus dulu.....
hmmmmmm *sambil liat kamus*
setelah berhasil menterjemahkan...
huehehehehe ::hhh::

[Ice]

kesian si Frank.. :D

[yovanka]

Loe dong terjemahin Ice.....

[Sersan_Joko]

Komen : ::bingung:: ;( :D :D

[Ice]

komen rider?? :D

[NealCute]

Ahahahahahahaha.... yang terakhir lucu.

[Ice]

muncul mendadak ni anak. :D

[DarkStreak]

well, i think i've found 'appiness! :D:D:D

[NealCute]

100 pennies make a dollar :)

[DarkStreak]

Neal: ????

[Ice]

betul, DS!! :D

[NealCute]

Bingung yah? Aku juga ;D::toeng::

[Ice]

opo seh ihhh.. :D

[NealCute]

Iiihhh...Ice gitu iiihhhhh (et dah, aku sok genit amat yah!!) ::hhh::

[Ice]

ihhh.. getu deh awww.. :D:D

apa seh?! :D

[Franky]

Masih mau jokes lageee kagak ????

[Ice]

maoo.. :D

[ß.è.ñ.z]

seorang mahasiswa Indonesia yang mengalami kecelakaan mobil di Australia, ditolong dan dibawa ke rumah sakit dengan Ambulance.
Dasar manja, sepanjang jalan mengerang terus : Aduuuuhhhh... sakkkiiitt, ... sakkkiiittt

Perawat kece yang mulai kesel balas membentak :
Hai...!!! Su ck It Your Self Man !!!

[Ice]

oouuuggghh!!!! :D

[no-die]

permisiii huaaaahhahahahahah ::ketawa:: ::ketawa:: ::ketawa::

apaan sech ::bingung::

[Ice]

gak papaaa.. emang lo biasa gak nyambung kok.. :)

[NealCute]

::hhh:: Hehehehehe...lucu

[Franky]

Oke deh kalo gitu ... kalo ada jokes lagee, gue post terus kesini. :)

[toradoshi]

no comment....but it was pretty funny for the blondes part!:D

[Franky]

Sayur sop, Sayur kacang
Meking lop yok yang

Disini gunung disana gunung....
Ditengah gunung ada melati...
Saya bingung, kamu pun bingung..
Kenapa bisa ada melati ya...

Kura-kura dalam perahu
Iseng banget tuch kuya...

Jalan kaki ke pasar baru
Jauh boooooooooooo....

jauh di mata,dekat dihati
jauh di hati,dekat dimata
jauh-dekat tujuh ratus perak

Sayur asem sayur sop
laper nich

ayam kurus bulunya banyak
rugi banget yang beli.........

[Franky]

Empat kali sudah kita memiliki pemimpin sejak kemerdekaan tahun 1945, dari
keempatnya masing-masing memiliki nama julukan yang bisa kita cermati :

PRESIDEN ke 1 : KKN (Kanan-Kiri Nyonya)
PRESIDEN ke 2 : KKN (Kanan-Kiri Nyolong)
PRESIDEN ke 3 : KKN (Kanan-Kiri Nyambi)
PRESIDEN ke 4 : KKN (Kanan-Kiri Nuntun)

PRESIDEN ke 1 : Mad about Woman
PRESIDEN ke 2 : Mad about Money
PRESIDEN ke 3 : Mad about Aeroplane
PRESIDEN ke 4 : ..........Make you MAD

PRESIDEN ke 1 : Gila Wanita
PRESIDEN ke 2 : Gila Harta
PRESIDEN ke 3 : Gila Beneran
PRESIDEN ke 4 : ..........Yang milihnya Gila

PRESIDEN ke 1 : Pahlawan
PRESIDEN ke 2 : Hartawan
PRESIDEN ke 3 : Ilmuwan
PRESIDEN ke 4 : Wisatawan

PRESIDEN ke 1 : S1 (Insinyur Sipil)
PRESIDEN ke 2 : S2 (SD, SMP)
PRESIDEN ke 3 : S3 (Doktor bidang Tekhnik Pesawat)
PRESIDEN ke 4 : SSO (Suka Suka Oooeee)

[toradoshi]

:)

[Franky]

From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die, I want you to marry Mr Drone."

"Drone?! But he is your enemy!!"

"Yes, I know that! I've suffered all these years so let him
suffer now."

[Franky]

Ada sepasang pengantin baru yang lagi mesra-mesranya.

Suatu pagi sang suami hendak berangkat kekantornya.
Suami : Ma, aku pergi dulu!
Istri : Nggak sarapan dulu?
Suami : Nggak, aku belum lapar!

Lalu sang suami mencium bibir istrinya dengan mesra sambil berkata "ini makan pagiku!", sang istri pun tersenyum.

Karena ada sesuatu yang tertinggal, pada siang harinya sang suami balik kerumah dan bertemu istrinya lagi.

Istri : Ada apa mas koq balik kerumah?
Suami : Ada sesuatu yang tertinggal!
Istri : Nggak makan siang dulu?
Suami : Nggak, aku masih belum lapar!

Lalu dengan mesranya sang suami menghampiri istrinya dan menciumi "(.)(.)-nya" (susunya) sambil berkata "ini makan siangku!" sang istri pun senang campur bahagia.

Ketika sore hari menjelang malam sang suami pun pulang kerumah, tapi dengan kagetnya ia melihat tingkah laku sang istri, lalu bertanya.

Suami : Sedang apa kamu!? Penuh tanya, karena ia melihat istrinya sedang duduk diatas rice cooker yang hidup dan panas tanpa celana dalam.

Dengan ungkapan yang senang sang istri menjawab.

Istri : Ngangetin makan malam, mas! ...........

:D:D:D:D:D

[toradoshi]

biar si frangky sueneeeng!!!:D:D:D

[Franky]

Getoooo yach ...

[Franky]

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula forwater?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
===============================================================
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
:D:D:D:D:D

[toradoshi]

franko ....banyak beeng siih jokes nya@!!!salut...salut!!:D

ketawa lagii aaaaah!!!:D:D

[Franky]

Kalo jokes seh kebetulan ada aja. Biasanya juga kiriman dari temen. :)

[toradoshi]

iyaaa....rata rata semua juga begituuu!!!:D

[akuaja]

berarti pada bukan bikin nan sendiri dunk......:D ::devil:: :D

[toradoshi]

mau yang asli bikinan dalam negri....niih!!! sambil ngasih getuk lindri!!:D

[akuaja]

wah...jadi pengen getuk lindri :( :(

[toradoshi]

oooo....aku...udah pernah nyobain tiwul!!!:D kalo belum minta sama pak de bule....banyak stock dia!!!:D tapi rada susah....gue aja mintanya udah dari tahun lalu dikasihnya baru 3 bulan yang lalu.....merki banget emang tuh orang:D;D

[Ice]

hehehe.. lucuu.. :D

[Franky]

Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.

The son comes running up to his mom and says "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"

The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber they are."

So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"

The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."

So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"

[Franky]

A man and his four-year-old son were talking about ***.

The son asked his father, "Dad, what does a pussy look like?"

The dad asked him, "Before or after ***?"

"Ummm, before ***," the kid replied.

The dad said, "Have you ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red petals?"

"Yeah," said the son. "Well, what about after ***?"

His dad replied, "Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"
:D :D :D :D :D
[i]jorok gak apa2 kan???[i]

[Ice]

wahahah.. :D

[Franky]

The Human Resources worker was called upon to confront a new employee.

"I'm sorry to note that on your resume you listed several years of experience in this field — yet your supervisor reports that you clearly have none at all."

"Well, sure, that's true — but remember, you're the ones who advertised for someone with a good imagination!"
:):):)

[Ice]

heheh.. bagi yg ngerti sih jadi lucu.. tapi tuh joke rada sulit dimengerti :D:D

[Franky]

Emang bener seh ... tapi sayang juga kalo ada jokes yg lucu terlewatkan.
Kalo gue merasa lucu dan pantas di posting ... gue posting aja.
Gue juga tau kalo ada yg gak ngerti. Tapi mo dibilang apa ... rata2 jokes emang kayak gitu ... tapi itung2 ... dari sini bisa belajar jugalah ... okeee ???? :)

[Franky]

Who won the skeleton beauty competition ?

Gimme your answer ...

[NealCute]

Ini jawabannya plesetan apa engga nih?
Calista Flockhart bukan? :):D;D

[DarkStreak]

jangan pleset-plesetan .. entar jatoh! :D:D:D

[Franky]

Salah euuuuyyyyyyy ... :p

[NealCute]

Pam Anderson with her implants removed?

[Ice]

Pam uda removed lagee.. :D:D

[Franky]

Originally posted by Franky
Who won the skeleton beauty competition ?
Gimme your answer ...
Masa seh belom ada jawaban untuk pertanyaan di atas?

[Franky]

Originally posted by Franky
Who won the skeleton beauty competition ?

Gimme your answer ...
The answer is No body
:D:D sekedar isenk doank :D:D:D

[trulygirl]

iih keciaan jawab ndiri ::luthu:: ::luthu:: http://smilecwm.tripod.com/asian2/plaugh3.gif
sana pulang, ntar dikunciin dari dalem lho! :P

[Franky]

Iya .. neh ... bentar juga mo udahan neh. :)

[Franky]

One time little Johnny woke up one morning and saw his mom
jumping up and down on his dad.

He asked,"Mommy why are you jumping on Daddy?"

The mom replied slyly, "Well daddy is getting fat so I am
trying to deflate him."

Johnny said, "Ohhh! Well you're wasting your time. After you
leave for work, the big-boobied woman next door comes over
and blows Daddy back up."

[Franky]

A man and his wife are watching the boxing on TV.

The husband sighs and says, "I'm disappointed! It was all over in four minutes."

The wife replies, "Good! now you know how I feel."

[trulygirl]

waaah ternyata tidak sekuat ini http://smilecwm.tripod.com/asian/douga25.gif ::hhh:: ::hhh::

[Ice]

itu icon apaan, chuw?? pitung?? :D

[trulygirl]

sssttt..mbah ntar yang punya ngamuk, aku yang kena marah ::hhh:: ::hhh::

[Franky]

Sapa yang berani marah ama Truly ??? ::kof6::

[trulygirl]

lhoo kok dia yang marah?? ;(
eeh punya pitung jugak toh si franky?? http://smilecwm.tripod.com/asian/blobtongue.gif

[Franky]

Itu mah bukan marah ... ngebelain namanya :D:D;D

[Franky]

Gue gak bisa ikut KSKG di Senayan besok. Soalnya gue bakal pergi arung jeram ... bisalah ... sekalian mandi bareng :D:D:D;D

[trulygirl]

ntar nyesel ngga ktemu gue :o :P:P

[fia]

:( nyesel gak ketemu trulee gak bisa foto bareng ama minta tanda tangan ihiksss ...

[luli_o]

fia..emang ketemu ama truly d mana

[fia]

luli_o ... "o" nya apa sih ? :o :) *mo tauuuuuu aja* :D

katanya besok trulee mo jumpa fans pan di senayan ;) :)

[Ice]

weleh

[trulygirl]

lhoo?? fia ngga dateng?? :(
waaaaaah emangnya gue selebritis?? ahahahaha berharap ada yang ngasih bunga besok http://smilecwm.tripod.com/asian4/ptrose.gif ntar ta' kasih :X:X deh orangna ::hhh::

[Franky]

Mo ngasih sun .... gak pake tik kan ... :D:D:D;D

[luli_o]

fia"o" ada degh mo tau ajah

wee...jumpa pans...waks..ama sapa nehh

[trulygirl]

sun nya ya gini dong http://smilecwm.tripod.com/asian/smooch.gif
tadi udah selesai jumpa fansnya ;D;D

[Franky]

Harry was sensitive about his wooden leg and afraid no woman would have him. He was delighted when he found a young woman who accepted his proposal of marriage. He couldn't bring himself to tell his fiancée about his leg when he slipped the ring on her finger, nor when she bought the dress, nor when they picked the time and place.
All he kept saying was, "Darling, I've got a big surprise for you," at which she blushed and smiled bewitchingly.

The wedding night came and went, and the young couple was at last alone in their hotel room. "Now don't forget, Harry, you promised me a big surprise," said the bride.

Unable to say a word, Harry turned out the lights, unstrapped his wooden leg, slipped into bed, and placed his wife's hand on the stump.

"Hmmmmm," she said softly, "that is a surprise. But pass me the Vaseline and I'll see what I can do!"
:D:D:D:D:D

[Franky]

Truly ... waduuuuuuuhh ... gue di sun
gimana dengan KSKG di Senayan ??? :)

[Franky]

Attorney to witness: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?"

Witness: "Where am I Cathy?"

Attorney: "And why did that upset you?"

Witness: "Because my name is Susan."

[trulygirl]

franky http://smilecwm.tripod.com/asian4/pduckie1.gif
tadi seru juga...mayan lho dapet sumbangana :)
and how's ur arung jeram :D:D

[khayan]

::hhh::

[Franky]

Siiipppp lah .... tapi cuman Kelas III. Pengen nyoba yang Kelas IV neh.
Siapa tau KG yang adain ntar ... ya kan ???? :)

[trulygirl]

bedanya apa sih kelas2an itu?? ;(
eeh ada khayan, pa kabar?? http://smilecwm.tripod.com/asian3/pmimibye.gif

[khayan]

alo truly,,,,long time not see
kabar baik nih :D:D
makin rame aja ya ::pesta::

[Franky]

kelas2 itu menunjukkan kesulitan dari arung jeram ... makin tinggi kelas ... makin susah dan bahaya. Kayaknya seh cuman sampe Kelas VI aja.

[trulygirl]

khayan iyaa...soalnya anak2 KGna abis maem petasan semua jadi rame deh ::luthu:: ::luthu::

franky ooohh http://smilecwm.tripod.com/asian3/psad.gif

[Franky]

Kenapa sampe Ooooooohh ....

[trulygirl]

kalo gue bilangnya *oouuugghhhh....* ntar loe gemessss http://smilecwm.tripod.com/asian3/pmimiina.gif :D:D

[Franky]

;D;D;D ... Hmmmmmmm ...

[SukaSuka Gue]

:D

[trulygirl]

hihihi http://smilecwm.tripod.com/asian/bloblaugh1.gif

[SukaSuka Gue]

Abis ndak tau mo omong apa ;0

[trulygirl]

yo wis...aku pamit dulu aja :D:D
see ya later ::bye::

[SukaSuka Gue]

hik..hik sedih nih ::nangis::
::bye:: sampai ketemu lagi :D:):D

[Franky]

Biar gue hibur dikit ..........


One night, as a couple laid down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm.
The wife turned over and said, "I'm sorry, honey, I've got a Gynecologist appointment tomorrow."

The husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. Later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again. This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow, too?"
:D :D :D :D

[catlover]

Originally posted by trulygirl
kalo gue bilangnya *oouuugghhhh....* ntar loe gemessss http://smilecwm.tripod.com/asian3/pmimiina.gif :D:D

gemes apa lemes :D ::hhh::

[trulygirl]

bisa mix dari kedua2nya kok http://smilecwm.tripod.com/asian2/plaugh4.gif :D:D:D

[Franky]

Jadi pengen ... ;D;D;D

[SukaSuka Gue]

Pengen jadinya :D

[trulygirl]

diatas gue ikut2an ajah :o

[Franky]

Lagi nyari jokes yang lucu2 neh.
Anggota [KG] laennya .. post jokes nya di sini donk :)

[Franky]

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Priest: "What have you done my child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"